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Straight dating bi

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Even now, there are few representations of bisexuals on television. On our sixth date, he played his guitar while singing an awkward cover of "Sea of Love." I had never known a guy so sensitive. Despite the fact that it was Arran who first suggested we be monogamous, I feared that he hadn't dated enough people in his lifetime—specifically, enough men.

I’ve since come to understand that actually, the “bi” implies attraction not to two genders, but to members of both one’s own and other genders, and that the bisexual umbrella includes a wide rainbow of labels connoting sexual fluidity. Given all that struggle and growth, my current situation might come as a surprise: I’m in a committed, long-term relationship with a cisgender man who identifies as straight—just like a startling majority of other bisexual women.Steve was the only guy that Arran had ever been with.And even then, Arran said, "There was a lot of stuff we never did." When Arran told me he was bisexual, I could have just believed him and accepted that he was happy with me and our sex life. The men I was used to dating were easy to please in bed.When I started dating a woman for the first time after years of happily dating men, I had a go-to joke ready for when I was called upon to explain my sexual orientation to the confused: “I’m half gay.Only on my mom’s side of the family.” I’m one of those people who’d always misguidedly “hated labels,” and I actively eschewed the term “bisexual” for years.The jealousy I sometimes feel toward his ex-boyfriend, for example, is no different than the jealousy I might feel toward a female ex.

And even if I worry that it's impossible to please him, isn't it always the case that sexual compatibility requires some experimentation, flexibility, and compromise?

Unlike the men I'd dated before him, the attraction wasn't only physical.

That day, we walked my dog around Central Park and talked politics. It didn't come up until our second date, after I'd disclosed my own sexual history. Anyone with a web connection can read all about how I'd worked as a stripper through college and, for a brief stint, as a call girl during graduate school.

The other day, my boss casually asked me what soccer team Arran roots for.

When I told him Arran doesn't follow sports, he made an outdated stereotypical joke: "What is he, gay?

His Ok Cupid profile had boasted an impressive job in political media. I had begun blogging about my sexual experiences as early as 2005, but I was outed in an even bigger way in 2010, when my image appeared on the cover of thewith the headline, "Bronx Teacher Admits: 'I'm an Ex-Hooker.'" I wasn't necessarily proud of my past, but I wasn't ashamed, either.