“Hey, God, sorry I was totally lost there,” I said as he stood to greet me. He picked up the bottle of wine and went to pour it into my ready and waiting empty glass, but before he did he cocked his head and asked. ” Absof*ckinlutely I thought, while I just nodded at him. One of the worst opening question you can be asked on a Tinder date as I’ve come to the conclusion that when I guy asks you that straight off the bat he is looking for one thing and one thing only and that’s no strings attached sex. I’m no prude and there is nothing wrong with a bit of fun here and there but when you are on a quest to find your OTL and you're putting yourself out there to go on these endless dates, knowing that a guy is only out for one thing straight off the bat is a bit disconcerting. If, indeed, you even want to play the game at all, but if you do, you are moving from the Charm Offensive, to the Art of Seduction and sometimes that switch doesn’t come easy.
Sometimes this is the best way to play the Tinder game; just lock in a date straight away without spending weeks chatting back and forth which can often heighten your expectations before being spectacularly let down when you meet the real life person. I’d get to know him on the date like dating should be before apps took over and ruined everything!His teeth were white and perfectly straight, he looked like something you’d see from a catalogue advertising yachts for sale.I selfconciously swept my hair over to one shoulder and headed over to him with a smile.“Yeah, yeah, I gotta say discovering Tinder after being in a relationship for five years has been quite the revelation,” he smiled and took a sexy sip of his vino. “One or two, one or two” he said nodding “Actually my very first one was a bit of a nightmare” he added in his posh London droll. “Well, so I matched with this girl, who was f*cking hot, like a model, like she was a ten for sure” he said getting excited.“I’d say you’re having fun alright” I agreed knowingly. Cue another selfconscious sweep of my hair to one side and straightening of my posture.Two seconds later and my phone pinged with a location pin and five minutes later I was arriving into a dim candlelit wine bar with leather couches and several cool Londoners dappled around the room sipping out of over sized wine glasses. He was wearing a round necked navy cashmere jumper, dark blue jeans and fabulous brown leather brogues.
A quick glance around the room and there was my date. He looked at me and smiled and my heart skipped a beat.
Unfortunately, the quaint little wine bar was so quaint it was impossible to find!
I obediently followed the blue flashing dot on my i Phone to a dead end, turned around and asked several passersby if they knew where this said bar was (quite possibly one of the most frustrating experiences on earth, having to ask people in London for directions) needless to say my pleas for help left me none the wiser and I was forced to call him. ”he said in an incredibly sexy north London accent “Oh hi um, it’s me Ariana, sorry but I’m a bit lost and can’t find the bar.” “No worries, I’m here now actually so I’ll just drop you a pin and you should find it easily then.” “Super, thanks a mil, see you soon.” “Red wine ok? “Red wine would be perfect." So far, this guy was my kinda guy. He was sitting down, one arm up on the back of the couch, legs spread in comfortable and confident manner.
"Islamic Glass: A Brief History." Metropolitan Museum of Art Bulletin vol.
Re-Orientations: Islamic Art and the West in the Eighteenth and Nineteenth Centuries.
Now, I know this may sound like a pretty great Tinder opening line to get a guy to engage in a conversation, and that maybe this was a line I’d used before but in fact it wasn’t!