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Mothers rights with ex husband dating

" The dictate to "Do unto others" is not easily achieved and requires discipline and compassion.

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Begin by looking in the mirror and asking the following question: "Am I consistently and regularly acting toward my ex in the way that I long for my ex to act toward me?Or he may call and simply state that he won't be taking the children for his appointed week because he is going on a vacation.Or your child may come to you complaining that her mom is refusing to pay for her prom dress – as she had promised.Most importantly, remember that you and your ex are always modeling for your children behavior for their futures.You and your ex are always, in a sense, standing before a blackboard, holding pieces of chalk and writing life lessons on the board.You can't come up with "win-win" proposals about such matters as visitation times, support questions, etc.

without thoroughly understanding the needs and desires that are behind your ex's demands, even if these demands appear foolish.

You may be accustomed to instinctively protect, defend, or speak for your children, or you may be accustomed to taking care of a dependent, complaining ex-spouse.

All of these scenarios involve the same dilemma: A divorced parent is presented with a problem by someone else ("Mommy won't buy my dress," "I can't take the kids – I'll be away"), a problem that is not actually their responsibility to solve.

On rare occasions, spouses choose to part in a gentle and respectful way: After looking across the breakfast table, after affirming their care for one another, they agree that they have "grown apart," quickly settle their affairs and move on to raise their children as friends from two separate homes.

A wonderful scenario for children who are losing the nest as they have known it.

On one level, choosing to view the world, or a particular problem, through your ex's eyes is a path to compassion that can dampen some of your own suffering: Remember when Toto, in the , peeks behind the curtain to reveal a frightened, insecure person behind the false image of the fuming, frightening wizard?