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A long conversation with his mother helped him understand why some Black women in the family were hurt by his decision."When I was able to step back and put myself in their shoes, I could understand their perspective, even though I didn't agree," Hargrove says. Some of Hargrove's in-laws made it known that he wasn't welcome.He chose to live in California because he feels the state is more accepting of interracial couples and wants his kids to grow up in a diverse environment.
They don't want to say the N-word, but they do want to talk about why some people do.Follow her on Twitter, Youtube and one her blog, It's Akilah Obviously.Stories about the number of Black women who are single have made headlines for years, and many of us are tired of hearing them."In my situation, marrying a woman of another race just happened.It didn't matter to me if she was Black or White."That's why he was surprised at the negative reaction he received from some loved ones, mainly those in North Carolina.When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.
I do think there is someone out there for everyone," says the father of two.
Their friends want to know what the differences are, even when none are all that apparent. If he says the wrong thing, and you catch wind of it, he knows that's his ass. When you fall in love, it will have nothing to do with your race.
A lot of people on the Internet like to weigh-in negatively about interracial relationships and why they happen.
C., says she feels frustrated, hurt and even betrayed when she sees Black men with women of other races, but happy when she sees Black women in an interracial relationship."I'm like, Yes, girl, do that," says Lachon. Women are taking control of their happiness."Dating interracially can still come with backlash for both Black men and women.
Lachon, who is seeing a White man, has experienced her share of adverse reaction."I've come across a lot of men who tell me I should be ashamed and say things like, "It's not too late to come home" or "He won't know what to do with all of that." I've heard it all. But the negative comments can be more distressing when they come from family or close friends.
Asia Diggs Meador, 33, had never considered marrying outside her race.