Long dating move
You're in a long-distance relationship and things are going well, or perhaps you're in a relationship with a partner who's about to move to another city, and you're considering a move to be with them.It's a big, tough decision and one I'm well familiar with.
He liked you when you were far away, but now that you’re nearby, you’re a burden. If he contacts you, just let him know that while you had fun, it’s clear to you that he’s not the guy you thought he was, and move along.And that’s not a responsibility he wanted to assume.In fact, I’d bet if you replayed your pre-move conversations, you’d remember him saying something to that effect: “Hey, you know nothing’s going to change when you move out here.For the most part I act like I have my own thing going on and everything is fine. I’ve addressed the issue once before and he listened, but had no idea anything was even wrong. It kills me that he was more involved in my life when we lived 1500 miles apart.I specified that when I moved here I was NOT looking for a commitment, I am very independent, but I was looking forward to spending some time with him, and he felt the same way. Is he over it and just avoiding the uncomfortable confrontation? OR is he just like every normal guy who starts neglecting their relationship after a while and doesn’t feel the need to put in any additional effort?This may be hard to hear, as it forces you to go against all your feelings and emotions that brought you out to live near him. If a guy says one thing and does another, you’re not at fault.
I’m positive a few readers can share stories about moving to be near a guy and the relationship dissolving. Unless there were signs in advance, you’re off the hook. What you have to own is your internal contradictions.
In fact, if you didn’t move 1500 miles to be with him, he probably would have dumped you by now. When he tells you that it’s a misunderstanding, that he’s been busy, that he really loves you, let him know that you understand, but this is your well-considered decision.
The fact that he hasn’t yet actually makes him think he’s being nice. It’s scary and daunting and lonely, and yet there is no better tonic for getting over an ex than to move on successfully. It was good while it lasted, best of luck, goodbye. No matter how lonely you are, no matter how much you miss him, keep walking.
I considered it a big deal to move 120 miles for someone I’d been with for two years.
It succeeded in my case, but then we knew we were serious and I moved in with him.
You were the out-of-town girl – the perfect girlfriend, really. It’s easy to see a woman who doesn’t require more than a text a week.