Being assertive can feel a whole lot less overwhelming when you start small.
Keep quiet unless there is something important to be said. If you are in a position of authority make it clear the first time you say something that it will be the last.If this means spending some big bucks on designer clothing that do it.The way you act at the event will also carry a lot of weight.They might be used to getting their way and have strong personalities, she said.“[T]hey may not see that their behavior creates emotional distancing in their relationships — unless someone speaks up.”So how do you speak up? According to Farris, let the person “talk — but not dominate — the conversation, and validate what you hear.” For instance, you might say: “I can see how you feel that way,” or “What I hear you saying is …” If they feel heard, they might relax a bit, she said.Because that’s the great thing about being assertive: It’s a skill we can learn and practice. Dealing with intimidating people can shake our confidence and trigger self-doubt, said psychotherapist Michelle Farris, LMFT.
Sometimes we find them intimidating because these individuals dominate the conversation, express their opinions as facts and expect others to back down, she said.
Appearances Count This sounds so clich but one of the things that really makes a person seem intimidating is the company he/she keeps at social events.
When you walk into a room for a party or gathering, you should have the most gorgeous person on your arm.
Do not attempt to explain your reasoning for any of the rules or guidelines you set forth for your employees, children or any other group of people in which you have been given some sort of authority over.
Obviously, it should go without saying that none of the things you demand of the people you are in authority over should be unreasonable or cruel.
Find the lesson.“Ironically, you can learn a lot about boundaries from [these individuals] because they are skilled at getting what they want,” Farris said.