How long to wait after divorce before dating
Congratulations, Ann, on having the courage to leave a situation that was making you miserable.I must admit, I’ve never fully understood the psychology of abuse – and how people who are objectively treated poorly choose to remain in relationships – but I’m glad you’ve broken free.
You think you've stumbled upon the most forgiving guy in America.Google “How long should I wait after divorce to start dating?” You’ll get a whole bunch of opinions, but all that matters is you.Sounds to me like your marriage was dying for years and that you’ve already mourned its death.Sounds to me like your head is on straight and, while you’re cautious about exposing your children to other men, you don’t want to have to wait until they’re teenagers."Pass on him." How to spot him: He's the unusually friendly guy who makes effortless chit-chat, has expensive shoes and a good haircut—and is always ducking outside to talk on his cell.
Why he's tempting: You know how in tennis when you play with a great player, you don't suck as much as when you play with a beginner? If your date is a smooth operator who's never at a loss for words, you'll feel more relaxed, witty, and confident. Why you should steer clear: Your dates will soon feel like a therapy session, and that's not romantic.
More importantly, I’m glad that you’re feeling relieved, happy and optimistic about what happens next – that you’re looking forward to your new lease on life, rather than being paralyzed by fear like so many other victims of abuse.
Which is why I want to tell you in the kindest, most non-professional way possible, that you can do WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT right now.
As a divorced person, the urge to date is strong after separation, but as ready as you feel now and as much relief as you are feeling, you have a lot of mourning left to do.
The decision to divorce never comes lightly and every divorced person I meet feels as if they mourned the marriage before the separation.
Why you should steer clear: Slick guys love dating. If your pro dater has had a ton of 5-minute partnerships, doesn't open up, or shies away from discussing personal details, he probably won't commit. And what other guy says, "And how did that make you feel? But the real problem is that shrink-in-training types are happiest when you're unhappy. Why you should steer clear: Intense jealousy is often a sign of emotional instability.