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Telling a child that they can’t do something makes them prove that they can, by telling you or showing you that it is in fact possible.Telling a kid to not do something makes them want to argue or rebel.

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Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.

Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.

The former acknowledges that the child already figured out the problem, but is still comforting.

When redirecting behavior, it is difficult to know how to phrase things in the best manner.

Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.

“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?

We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.