What you say can encourage your mate to live his or her best life.Or, your words can validate how much the other person is loved.
For example, saying to your partner, “I am working hard to stay within our budget” is a positive support measure for the relationship if money is a big issue between the two of you.While there’s no guarantee that your words can reverse major relationship damage, it’s worth it to try.For example, you might tell your partner, “Honey, I feel terrible about our arguments. I’m trying to get my point across, and I’m having a tough time doing it.” Or, you might say, “We’re using words to slam each other.” Some married couples can argue because they don’t have a lot in common. What they do have in common, via arguing, is a tension-based relationship. Arguing becomes a kind of temporary glue that forces mutual engagement.It works like this: If a child is lonely at school, he may bully someone.Those feelings can range from making us feel safe and secure, sexy and desirable, or empowered in some way.
Both partners stay in love because each knows the other partner is honoring his or her feelings.
In other words, if one partner is suddenly not interested in preserving the family finances, the other may start to feel very insecure.
To keep love alive, we have to recognize this fact: We produce feelings in our partner almost every time we speak and every time we act.
The wonderful thing about words is this: They cost nothing, and they are instantly available.
You can begin to change your “love language” right away.
Or, you will need to nurture the relationship based on things you already have in common.