Dating someone with cp
I think what LIndya said about you focusing on his disability being a reason for splitting up was great.He sounds like a wonderful person, who has achieved alot despite his disability, which says good things about his character.
If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.I'm a pretty open-minded person so I didn't let it bother me.Before I met him, he told me he had a slight limp so that I wouldn't be surprised when I saw him in person - again this was fine by me, I already liked the person he was from our chats etc.I have been going out lately with a guy I met in a chatroom recently.We chatted intensely for a week and found we had a lot in common and he asked me to meet him for lunch a week later.I told him I am happy to see him on a casual basis as a friend even though I know his feelings for me are more than that of a friend.
There is so much of a stigma attached to dating people with a disability but I am so drawn to him as he has such a big heart and is so kind and considerate towards me more so than the able-bodied guys I have dated so far. I guess I should follow my heart but the implications are so great I guess I am just treading with caution - what is your take on this situation?
However strong a person is, being rejected for something that's personal, outwith their control and probably an issue they've spent a lot of time and effort coming to terms with, is going to be hard to take...yes, there is that possibility that you might decide things aren't working out for an entirely unrelated reason, and he might perceive the rejection as being connected to his disability. Worrying about him feeling rejected as a result of his disability is encouraging you to focus on it...there's a possibility that precisely because you're worrying about it so much, you'll end up doing exactly that thing you fear doing - ie rejecting him for it.
I would be inclined to simply focus on and enjoy the many positive aspects this man has on offer, and not spend time fretting about the possibility of hurting him (thereby turning him into a victim in your mind, when he doesn't sound anything like a victim in reality) or analysing whether the two of you have a future together. Just take the approach you would with anyone else - that you're still in the process of getting to know eachother, and aren't therefore in a position to contemplate what the future might hold for you both.
He has likely heard it all and probably would appreciate directness over roundaboutness. It doesn't make you a bad person if it bothers you. I know you're only seeing him casually, and I feel rather silly saying this, but remember, it's genetic and can be passed to children.
Just throwing that out there in case you're a "planner" Actually cerebral palsy is not something passed down to children as I have done some research into this - and nearing thirty, yes I do consider this when making a decision about having a possible long-term relationship with someone.
Thanks guys - this all helps - it's a lot to consider as he is a decent person all round and I would not want to mess him about hence me taking it slow and seeing what develops - we had lunch in the park today and then a coffee which was rather pleasant...he's getting a bit cheeky now though with the innuendo...to make a decision soon before we go that one step too far...