Dating single life and mate selection
is not for everyone (neither the book nor the reality it reflects).The book is written from the perspective of people who are smack in the middle of this new, unhooked, unscripted maelstrom of love, sex, and disillusionment.
Sam wonders if the perfect train has yet to appear at her station or if she’s missed it already. ” “How long do I stay on one train before I get off if I am not sure it’s the one?It captures how things are for a great number of people, not what many would say is ideal. Ansari is, after all, a comedian with the bluntness of those who work the clubs.Questions around how people search for, and find, partners are part of an entire field of study about matching problems.In mate selection, people have gone from choosing among two or three options in their neighborhood or apartment building to trying to search through and cope with the awareness of a myriad of options, thanks to advances in the digital realm.Searches are likely to fall short of leading to good matches when people search too little or too much. The Train Station Problem Samantha (Sam, for short) is searching. I don’t merely mean that she wants a mate who shares the deeper beliefs of her soul; and it complicates things quite a bit.Those poor guys don’t even know that they have no chance. But starting with number five, Sam is ready to pick the first one that is better than any of the four she’s seen so far.
If the best option of all was in that first four, that’s pretty sad.
Todd and Miller note that if you could know in advance the number of options you’d get to consider in choosing a mate, you could use a guideline that a number of studies suggest yields the highest likelihood of the best outcome.
The rule is to select the best option that appears after you have considered 37 percent of the options.
That’s a long train ride, and it left Sam further down the tracks at another station.
Now she’s worried that she might have missed the best option during those 16 months.
Individuals, of course, desire to make the best matches they can in order to increase their odds of personal happiness, fulfillment, and meaning.