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Dating after a long term marriage

They were the originators of a higher divorce rate, and while that divorce rate has slowed, we may be seeing a spike as people ponder whether or not they will stay with their spouses into extreme old age.So, yes, there are plenty of reasons why a couple who have been married for 30, 40, even 50 years might break up.

Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.Whether it's been one year or six since the divorce decree, you may never know with absolute clarity that you're truly ready for another relationship.Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.Sadly, and often with great affection for each other, the couple say "enough." And, yes, couples are saying that more often these days. And then, of course, we're now looking at the aging of the boomers.

They're different from the 50-year-olds who lived before them.

So while infidelity is certainly the precipitating factor in some marriages failing, it's not the reason in most cases.

Why do so many long-married couples decide to split?

And although we don't celebrate divorce in this country, we are not afraid of it, either. Did you or someone you know divorce after a long-term marriage?

What were the contributing factors and what advice would you give other couples struggling to hold it together?

Or she gets ambitious and he wants to relax, cut down, travel, and play golf.